All this talk of Sherlock wanting to be a pirate reminded me of this…

Better Served Beneath My Flag [ House MD ]
26th December 2006

Title: Better Served Beneath My Flag
Word count: 199
Characters: Wilson, House
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: As with all fanfiction, this is not-for-profit, just for fun, and all the assorted other words that really mean nothing but look like an attempt.

Author’s note: For eryslash, for Winter Holiday, 2006. She asked for “House, Wilson, and pirates”. Fic title is from the song “Pirates” by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.

Summary: House and Wilson play “What If”.


They sat on opposite sides of House’s desk, flicking a penny back and forth across the smooth surface.

“What would you have done if you couldn’t be a doctor?” House asked. “What if Tritter had won and you lost your license?”

Wilson raised his eyebrows. “That’s a depressing question.”

“You thought about it, didn’t you?”

“Did you?”

“Of course I did.”

Wilson slid the penny from the desk and tucked it into the pocket of his lab coat. “What would you have done?”

“Pirate,” said House.

“Pirate. Like… software or movies or..?”

“High seas. Parrot. Eye patch. Hook for a hand.” He pointed at his thigh. “Wooden leg.”

“You really did put a lot of thought into it, didn’t you.”

“I like to be prepared for any circumstance,” House took a sheet of paper from a notepad and started folding it. “So? What about you?”

“I never thought about it.”

“But you’re thinking about it now. What would you be?”

“I suppose if you’re going to be a pirate, I wouldn’t really have a lot of choice. I’d have to be your first mate.”

House slid an Origami parrot across the desk. “You’re responsible for getting your own eyepatch.”